Art Therapy · Depression · Family and Friends · Happy · Love · Positive Thinking

Light after dark

*****WARNING CONTAINS GRAPHIC PICTURE*****

When I started this blog my life was going in the right direction. I was feeling happy and everything in my life was finally fitting into place. I wanted to write about my experiences and give my personal tips on how to live/cope with depression in order to try and help others who maybe going through a similar situation. However, a few months ago something happened in my personal life that triggered an incredible low in my life and I completely broke down. I no longer felt happy instead a darkness set in and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t shift the pain, hurt and sadness I felt. Everyday I woke up with an overwhelming emptiness, each night I prayed I would wake up feeling better or that I wouldn’t wake up at all. One morning I woke up, drained, overpowered by my thoughts and feelings of darkness. I wanted it to stop, I got a razor and hacked into my arms. All I could think was everyone would be better off without me and how death must be easier then how I was feeling. It’s been a very difficult time but the amount of love and support I have received from family and friends has been incredible they have got me through. I see my doctor regularly and take medication daily. My arms are healing and I use different ways of coping like writing, taking and drawing. I’m not out of the woods yet however each day I get stronger. It’s a cliche but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m taking it one day at a time. It’s not been easy to write this, I hope it will encourage anyone else who maybe feeling like I did to open up and talk about there problems. Life can throw you off track and throw you to the floor. With time, hard work and the right support though, you can get back on your feet again and find a new path.

Before and after.

74 thoughts on “Light after dark

  1. There’s a reason you’re here. God has so much more in store for you–for all of us–than we can possibly believe. Happiness is fleeting; joy is a sense of contentment that God is still in control when life feels out of whack and weird. I appreciate you following my blog–I’ll return the favor because I see a beautiful honesty and genuineness that draws me in. Something not often found today in young people.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, lovely woman. I read this post because you sent a “like” for one of my prayers. You are doing so well, even though I’m sure it doesn’t always feel that way. I’ve broken down completely in the past as well (many times), and I guess I will do so again one day. My heart goes out to you, and I’ll be following your blogs from now on. With love and blessings from Ruth XXXXX

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope you are better now. But I would like to tell you that I am so proud of you that you got out of this bad time and make sure that even if you feel that you are insignificant to those surround you, there are people who think that you are the most important one in their lives. Sometimes depression can visualize the simplest mistake as if it is the end of the world. Keep faith and make sure that everything happens for a reason. Maybe what happened would be the best thing ever by the passing of time

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I appreciate your honesty. On thing I can say is that we are never promised things will be easy, but we are promised that life can be beautiful, just as your title says. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” I am honored that you have chosen to follow my blog. May my words bless you indeed, and may your words bless others.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi, thank you for sharing. I can tell you 100% that your loved ones are not better without you. I have broken down every single day for almost 7 months wishing my wife hadn’t taken her own life. I’m a zombie, just existing. I can’t imagine how overwhelming your feelings can be, but know you matter, you’re loved and you will be missed so greatly by those who know you best.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I just read this post, and I must say, I do not know you, but I am very proud of you. It takes an enormous amount of courage to share this kind of pain with the general public, with the world in general, especially in this desensitized day and age.

    I suffer from a what I consider an extremely debilitating mental disorder, which is what motivated me to start my own blog in the first place, to give back to the community and to the people that have supported me through all of the agony we have gone through.

    I have had my fair share of suicide attempts, and many hospitalizations; I actually wrote about one where I attempted suicide by doctor. That one experience changed my life forever.

    I have never been one to listen to cliches (personally I find them trite and condescending, even if they cone from a good place), but do know that there are a few that actually make sense and will help in the long run. One of those cliches is “better days will always come”.

    I firmly believe that, and every day that I wake to a new opportunity, I take that chance to spread that same feeling of good and give it to others, so that they may never feel that loneliness, that dark , painful feeling of desperation and powerlessness.

    Keep writing, keep sharing, and know that you have a new ally in the battle against depression.

    Jose Sebastian Perez

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve been to a very dark place in my life as well. It’s hard if not impossible to express the feelings of loneliness and emptiness so others would understand the pain. We somehow recover and move on when we have a new path to follow. Love yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ‘We” are All, “bipolar”, “schitzophrenic, “multiple, personality disordeder”, “narcissisim”, “insecurities”, the “list” “seems” endless….. in some way, shape and form we are all the “above”. It is what we Project of ourselves Outward in order to “COPE” with the CHAOS “INSIDE, this is not who we, ‘really are’, We “Run” from who we Really are. Love is knowing Our Truth. To break free from old ‘restrictions’, let GO negative thoughts that no longer serve You.
    It is that we self sabotage and “dwell” in the “past” for “fear of the Future.

    You are a Soul Connected to GOD, a Soul of LOVE and ONE WITH CREATION………..No ONE is ever “alone”, God is always with Us
    You are Worth “EVERYTHING”……..It is Choice, “free will”. LET GO TO LOVE, You are Worth It, God Bless Your Journey

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m so, so sorry, Heather. Depression is a heavy cross to bear. I’m so glad you’re still alive and you have family and friends who love and support you and you’re seeing a doctor. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. I know it will make others feel less alone, including myself. You are so beautiful and precious to God, dear Heather. I pray He will fill you with His love and peace and give you strength to keep putting one foot forward at a time! Blessings, love and hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My dear beautiful woman, it breaks my heart to hear what you went through. You have two beautiful children that need you very much. You must stay strong for them and they will give you strength.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hi Heather. It is so easy to feel alone and totally isolated at times, and the perspective of any future can be difficult. So many people, including no doubt many of your followers (and also myself), have reached a point of desperation at some point in their lives. All I can say is you are not alone. Sadly blogging is a poor substitute for a “I care” hug, or a chat over a coffee, but it does reinforce that your existence is important. Pour your heart out my friend if you are comfortable doing that. Sharing, even over the internet, can be beneficial. My personal experience would suggest that you use whatever crisis support services are available in your area (in my case it was Samaritans – UK). Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I am so sorry sister. Thank you for having the courage to share that. My heart breaks seeing that. Please don’t ever hurt yourself. God loves you so much and you are worth so much more to Him than you could ever imagine. I am sending great love and peace your way and I am praying for you. God is with you and He loves you!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Wow! it is real I have a family member in a battle for their life with it right now people really don’t understand until it shows up at their door. All my blessing to you never give up the fight no matter what God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. What a brave post. Thankyou so mych for yoyr ho esty. It is si refreshing. I truly hope that you heal soon. It must have been an absolutely terrible time for you. I can relate

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m so touched by your sharing. It’s very brave of you. My own words are catching a bit and I can’t quite get them. I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts for healing to continue and peace and joy to find you one day at a time. Take care, suzanne❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Thank you so much for having the courage to share your struggles so openly. Life is very hard for so many people and by being honest with each other, instead of hiding behind a social facade, we help ourselves as well as others. I pray that sharing your story will help your own healing process as well as encourage other people who are struggling with the same things you are. Thank you for being an inspiration.
    Karen

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. A few years ago I turned the candles of Advent into a centering prayer and I’ve found it helpful when I’m walking through the valley of the shadow. The candles’ names are Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. Repeat each word in your mind as you take slow, deep breaths, mindful of your breathing. Breathe in Hope. Breathe out Peace. Breathe in Joy. Breathe out Love. It helps sometimes to light an actual candle for focus. I’ll hold you in my prayers. May you feel the love of God surrounding you in tangible ways. Peace, sister, and healing to your heart.

        Liked by 2 people

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